#ohhhh my god i cant WAIT to get it changed
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!!
#ohhhhhh my godddddd#i had an apt w my hrt doc just now#hes moved me out to every 6 months now#my levels are stabilized#AND#my clinic is going to help me with name change stuff#ohhhh my god i cant WAIT to get it changed#and things are moving forward about it#ohhh Zoe feels like shes gna cry bout this#my doc told me congratulations#cause im at therapeutic levels for the first time since ive started hrt#im gna try to make the rest of today a good day too
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HI THERE I SAW LES MISERABLES LAST NIGHT HERE ARE MY NOTES
ACT 1 ⁃ SOBBINGGGG OH MY GOODNESS I LOVE YOU ORCHESTRA ⁃ ok valjean i see you!! get the emotions!!! ⁃ YES ENSEMBLE I SEE YOU AND I LOVE YOU ⁃ I DREAMED A DREAM. OH MY GOSH. HER VOICE. cry #1 ⁃ fantine death- THE EMOTIONSSSSSS. OH MY GOSH. cry #2 ⁃ cosette im sobbing i love you ⁃ YES THENARDIERS YOURE SO ICONIC ⁃ all together master of the house is a 5000/10 literally so funny ⁃ THE SET???? THE FRICKING SET???!?!?!!?!?!??! ⁃ VALJEAN AND BABY COSETTE SINGING TOGETHER BEFORE THE BARGAIN???? BRB SOBBING MY EYES OUT OHMYGOSH ⁃ OHMYGOSH GAVROCHE. GAVROCHE. GAVROCHE. ⁃ ok grantaire i see you!??! long haired drunk king??? get it i guess???!!! ⁃ RED AND BLACKKKK IM CRYING THE HARMONIESSSSS - cry #3 ⁃ "listen!! lisTEN TO ME!!? L I S T E N E V E R Y B O D Y" (really awkward pause) "general lamarque is dead.." ⁃ me and my friend both said "womp womp" and were sobbing laughing ⁃ i LIVE for the grantaire + gavroche duo like theyre such a cute duo i cant ⁃ DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING OH MY GOODNESS HARMONIESSSS - cry #4 ⁃ oh my gosh the eponine/thenardier fight i love them so much what a traumatic duo ⁃ IN MY LIIIIIIIIIIIFE I WANT TO BE COSETTE SHES SO HOT ⁃ A HEART FULL OF LOVE THOSE HARMONIESSSSS THE END OHMYGOSHHHH - cry #5 ⁃ stars - so much better than russell crowe but thats not saying much - 1000000/10 i love you javert ⁃ I. LOVE. TENORS. OH. MY. GOODNESS. ⁃ ONE DAY MORE. OH MY GOSH. THE CHOREO. THE SET. THE CHARACTERS. THE HARMONIES. THAT STUPID RED FLAG. OH. MY. GOSH. - ♾️/10 i love you marius never change - cry #6
side note- i was sobbing at the end of "one day more" as intermission started and house lights went up i just looked up at my mom + friend and said "i freaking love tenors" through copious tears ANYWHO-
ACT 2 ⁃ THE BARRICADE????? THE SET????????????? OHMYGOSH???? ⁃ OKAY OH MY GOODNESS WHO ALLOWED IT TO OPEN WITH ON MY OWN THATS NOT FAIR - cry #7 ⁃ little fall of rain OHHHH MY GOSHHHHH MARIUS PONTMERCY I LOVE YOU - cry #8 ⁃ AND WHY ON GODS BEAUTIFUL GREEN EARTH DID "DRINK WITH ME" IMMEDIATELY PROCEED THAT IM SOBBING ⁃ gavroche sprinting across the stage and hugging grantaire like his life depends on it, grantaire turning around dropping to his knees and just hugging that sweet little boy i love him grantaire was shaking i love him ⁃ grantaire i love you why did you leave me - cry #9 ⁃ AND THEN "BRING HIM HOME??? RIGHT THERE???? WTFFFF????? - cry #10 ⁃ WHO SET GAVROCHES DEATH I WANT TO HUG YOU AND KILL YOU AT THE SAME TIME YOU PUT A SPOT ON MY BOY ON CENTRE AT THE TOP OF THE BARRICADE AND THEN JUST LET HIM SLUMP INTO GRANTAIRES ARMS??? BECAUSE YOU WANT TO HURT ME THAT MUCH???? - cry #11 ⁃ and ohmygosh the dead silence after his death like everyones in shock oh my goodness gavroche come back i miss you ⁃ UGHHHH THE WAY THE ABC BOYS DEATHS WERE SETTTTTT I CANT THE SPOTS ON ALL OF EM IM SOBBING - cry #12 ⁃ ENJOLRAS BEING THE LAST ONE AND DOING THE ARM RAISE AND THEN JUST FLOPPING OVER NOOOOO BBY DONT LEAVE ME ILY - cry #13 ⁃ the guy putting gavroche in the cart with enjolras SOBBING I MISS THEM ⁃ javert starting to emotionally unravel when seeing gavroche dead ⁃ OK BACKDROP I SEE YOU ATE IT UP ⁃ thenardier i hate you i cant wait for you to die say hi to judas ascariot for me ⁃ EMPTY CHAIRS AT EMPTY TABLES MARIUS I LOVE YOU - 10000000000000/10 ⁃ when "phantom faces at the window" all thE ABC BOYS CAME OUT WITH ENJOLRAS AND GAVROCHE SPLITTING CENTRE AS THE FIRST AND LAST OF THE ABC BOYS TO FALL ON THE BARRICADE LITERALLY STOP - cry #14 ⁃ javerts suicide omw literally in shock like jaw DROPPED tears STREAMING - cry #15 ⁃ the EMOTIONNNNNNN ⁃ ALSO THE WHOLE SCENE LIKE THE BACKDROP??? THE TECH??? THE LIGHTING??? ⁃ orchestra i love you never change ever marry me ⁃ the wedding ate i freaking love mme. thenardier shes so chaotic ⁃ "this ones a queer / i'll give it a try" (mr thenardier dips another dude like a fricking king ily) ⁃ marius i love you marry me forget cosette MARRY ME ⁃ fantine in valjeans death scene I LITERALLY CANT I LOVE YOU - cry #16 ⁃ EPONINEEEEEE FANTINEEEEE I LOVE YOU ⁃ valjean pulling off his coat and being in white bcs hes dead now UGH ⁃ the FRICKING ENSEMBLE AND ENJOLRAS AND GAVROCHE SPLITTING CENTRE AGAIN WITH GRANTAIRE BESIDE GAVROCHE UGH I LOVE THEM - cry #17 ⁃ VALJEAN WALKING BACK AND HUGGING JAVERT UGH TEARS STREAMING - cry #18 ⁃ THE FINAL CHORD - "tomorrOW (pause for five seconds) COOOOOOOOOOOMEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" - cry #19 ⁃ I LOVE YOU ORCHESTRA
conclusion: i dont think i've cried that much in years and i know this is what i want to do with my life also i love you grantaire
thank you for your time i'm gonna go cry now
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g e n s o - 0 5.
"the thirds ones wrong.. it should be will not well.."
you sighed out answering present mics question. "thats correct!" he continued to ramble on about grammar and english.
you put your head down and closed your eyes wishing class would go by faster.
then the bell rang, dismissing you all to go to lunch.
"y/n! come sit with us!" said mina, pulling your arm. you laughed and walked along with her, kirishima, and two other boys. "sup beautiful im denki kamanari and thats hanta sero, nice to finally meet you" said the yellow haired boy grinning.
you waved, "nice to meet you two as well!" kirishima groaned, "im so hungry..! i cant wait to some of the yummy food!" sero laughed as he patted his stomach, "hes like a baby!"
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
you sat down between mina and kirishima, chatting with them as they ate. god im so hungry.... but i cant risk gaining any fat right now... im at the healthiest ive been.. i cant gain anything!
you looked down at your fingers and fiddled with them. "hey y/n, why arent you eating anything?" asked kirishima curiously, you looked at him and quickly blurted an excuse, "o-oh! i had a heavy breakfast right before i left so im still stuffed!" you chuckled to deflect any second thoughts from them.
mina nodded, "ohhhh i get that.. well make sure to eat at home kay?" you nod smiling at her, of course i will..
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
finally it was time for the class you were waiting for. "i am here!! coming through the door like a hero!" announced all might as he made a dramatic entrance into the class. you couldnt help but let out a wide smile at him.
the whole class started talking amongst themselves at how they were amazed he was teaching them. you knew bakugou was jumping inside at the sight of his favorite hero, but didnt wanna seem like he was a fanboy.
"today we will be focused on battle!" you looked to see bakugou grinning, "but in order to do that you guys have to look good!" suddenly boxes of all of your hero costumes came out of the wall.
oh my gosh is that really my coustume??? you thought excitedly, smiling widely. "change and meet me at training ground beta!" all might instructed.
you went into the girls locker room and started changing, "i cant wait to see how my costume looks on me!" exclaimed mina, as she put on her costume. you laugh in agreement and start putting on yours.
"ill see you out there y/n! dont take to long!" she said as she ran out giddily. you finish putting on your costume and look at yourself in the mirror, you smiled as you saw how it accentuated your muscle and curves well, before running out to the rest of the students.
you walked out while smiling, "OH MT GOD Y/N YOU JUST RAISED THE HEAT OVER HERE! YOU LOOK SO HOT!" screamed mina, getting everyone's attention. you blush and thank her for the compliment while adjusting the thigh harnesses.
you look over to see bakugou in his hero costume and take notice of how much his body had changed. he had definitely grown more muscular and even though you wouldnt admit it, he looked good.
you held your breath as you made eye contact with him. he widened his eyes a bit before looking the other way. "honestly though.. your costume looks so good!" mina praised, " o-oh! thanks..! honestly it isnt really something i usually wear.. the skin tight crop top, and i always usually try to stay away from pants that are somewhat tight around my thighs and butt.. "
"no way! they show off the body you got blessed with! besides the cargos accentuate your muscular thighs! i think your whole costume looks good on you!" she smiles, you blush and bow your head thanking her.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
you listened closely as all might explained what you all would be doing today. you felt someone glaring at you and turned to look at them, only to meet a pair of vermillion eyes. you narrowed your eyes and stared back until he turned away, haha! i win asswipe!
you walked up to all might to draw your lot and see who you got paired with. letting out a low curse your paper read 'katsuki bakugou'. god you must really hate me huh..? out of all the people here this guy??
sulking internally you walked toward bakugou and stood by him silently. "all right lets see who the villian and hero will be!" all might reached into the box and pulled out your team and dekus team. "just great.." you mutter realizing you and bakugou were the villians and had to go up against deku. knowing bakugou he would target deku to try and beat him up.
you and bakugou started heading on inside, "young y/n, young bakugou the key to this exercise is to embody villainy- think like how they would and act upon it, make sure to communicate and work together." you nod, youll only be able to communicate if someone doesnt target deku.
you follow behind bakugou into the room with the fake weapon. you walk toward it and look around to check your surroundings "hey." you turn and look at bakugou, "do you really think deku has a quirk..?" you bite your lip, "well.. we both saw what he did during the physical tests, so yes i do think he has a quirk" you respond looking at bakugou.
you noticed him tense up, "look.. just because he has a quirk now dont go targeting him whenever you can, we both have to communicate if you wanna win this- which im sure you do. so please just try and calm your temper okay?" you add, he stands still and you sigh. "whatever.. its not like youll listen anyways... ill guard the weapon, knowing them uraraka will probably try and come up here, once i deal with her ill help you with izuku"
"all right! lets begin the indoor combat training!" says all might over the loud speaker, "be careful" you tell bakugou before he walks away. you purse your lips knowing he wouldnt hold back on deku, but right now you had to worry about uraraka.
you smirk as you come up with a plan and go to hide behind a pillar near the entrance. suddenly, you hear a huge explosion, "here we go again.."
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
"bakugou take it easy on the explosions.. i dont think this building can handle too many" you say through the ear piece, "shut up and defend the weapon genso!" he replies. you roll your eyes, this bitch...
you suddenly hear footsteps and ready yourself quietly, "theres the weapon! wait... wheres y/n..?" she says as she steps through apprehensively. you smirk and let your wind propel yourself forward, manipulating the earth under uraraka you made it wrap around her body, making sure to bound her arms down knowing if she touched you she could make you float. "right here!" you say as you wrap your tape around her, successfully capturing her.
she looked at you with a blank look still processing what just happened, "wait what??" she says questioningly, "sorry to get you out so early, but i really dont trust leaving bakugou with izu" you say before hearing another couple of explosions.
"bakugou! where are you?" you ask through the earpiece only to get no reply, just great..! no reply from the asswipe!
you run out and touch the floor closing your eyes, you saw the floorplan of the building in your mind letting the earth draw it out for you. you felt a huge surge of motion coming from a specific side of the building and ran to the location as quick as you could.
suddenly all might came over the speaker again, "use that power again bakugou and ill disqualify your team! you need to be aware of your surroundings and strive to make the least amount of damage to it as possible!"
oh my god theyre gonna kill each other...! you closed your eyes and pushed your legs faster trying to get there quicker. you heard another couple of explosions and widened your eyes.
you werent gonna make it in time.
stopping, you placed your hand on the ground again and found where they were in your mind. deciding to test your quirk, you focused on the spot and found the wall closest to the area. maybe.. just maybe.. i can manipulate the earth and get myself there by moving through the walls..
you focused all your power on the walls and let yourself fall into the earth, the next thing you knew you were in the same room as the two. they were standing in front of each other, izuku was screaming at bakugou and your gut told you to move in between the two. the next thing you knew your feet were moving, and you were hit by both their quirks.
you let out a loud yelp of pain and fell to the ground. you heard another thump and saw izuku fall to the ground, wincing you crawled your way to him and wrapped the capture tape around him before you passed out.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
you blinked your eyes as you familiarized yourself with light and winced as you tried to move. "there, there, take it easy... your bodys pretty beaten up... taking those two powerful blows wasnt very smart of you to do.." explained recovery girl, you let out a sheepish smile, "i couldnt just stand there and let them kill each other.. ive known both since childhood and bakugou isnt one to hold back when it comes to izuku.." you explained.
"hows izuku..?" you ask curiously, "hes already back in class, i still need to heal a couple other of his injuries but he has no energy in his body left for today.." you nod, "can i go back go class..?" she nods, "yes, but make sure you come back tomorrow.. i bandaged the blow on your stomach, but it still needs a bit of healing.. keep the cast on your arm on till tomorrow" she explains before letting you go.
you limp slightly as you walk back to class, gosh itll be so embarrassing walking into the class knowing they saw me pass out- yet again..
opening the door you walked into the class, only to be bombarded by kirishima, mina, and a couple of other students. "oh my gosh y/n you were so kick-ass!" exclaimed mina as she threw her hands around you, "be careful mina! shes still a bit injured!" reminded kirishima, you smiled before waving it off, "im fine.. im just glad everyones okay..!" "that move you pulled where you moved yourself through the earth was awesome!" praised uraraka.
"wait.. wheres izu..?" you question as you couldnt find him in the room, "hes talking to bakugou.." sighs out uraraka, you widen your eyes and run to find the two outside.
gasping for air your finally reach the two, "thank goodness i found you izu..!" you say tiredly, "my gosh y/n... are you okay?" you smile before nodding, "im fine, nothing too major..! im glad your fine though..!" you pause and turn to bakugou, "look bakugou.. as much as i understand your frustrated, you had no right to try and kill izuku in a practice match!" you sighed as you looked down.
"we used to be good friends.. just because of certain values we had we stop being friends.. whatever happens this year- i promise you two this, im not sticking up for either of you. you guys can either die fighting each other because of your massive egos, or learn how to grow up and act like mature people." you grit before turning and limping away.
you knew in your heart that you still valued the friendship you had with them, but you werent going to let bakugou continue and treat deku like shit just to fulfill his ego.
previous parts: pt. 0 0 / pt. 0 1 / pt. 02 / pt. 03 / pt. 04 next parts: pt. 06 / pt. 07 / pt. 08 / pt. 09 / pt. 10 / pt. 11 / pt. 12 / pt. 13 / pt. 14 / pt. 15 / pt. 16
#my hero academia#katsuki bakugo mha#mha x reader#mha#mha bakugou#bakugo katsuki#bakugou katsuki#bnha bakugou#katsuki bakugou#kacchan bakugou#boku no hero academia#bhna x reader#bhna#bakugou x reader#bakugou fanfiction#bakugou x you#bakugou x y/n#kacchan#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo katuski#katsuki x you#katsuki x reader#mha fanfiction#mha x y/n#t3ag3rs
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going through 2.5
2.5 STORY SPOILERS
trigger warning later of minor character death. shown off screen but is described in a way that could sound horrible to the faint of heart
WHAT
i know i joked in my previous post when going through 2.4 that it sounded like the start of a fanfiction but im genuinely disgusted by this ew i was really fucking tempted to just write a fic where jiaoqiu beats his ass (even though i know hoolay is way more powerful then him) but also 2.5 already came out so i gotta get through the story before i get spoiled
the smart choice would be to do 2. but also fuck you hoolay im doing 1. HHH jiaoqiu's voice sounds so like. stressed. like trying to have composure but you can tell hes struggling a little.
also im sorry but hoolays human form looks so fucking ugly (okay maybe im biased but also FUCK YOU HOOLAY) idk ppl might still simp for him but also fuck you im on jiaoqius side >:(
STOPPP USING THE WORD ALPHA like ive heard it so many times in media im DONE i cant hear it the same 😭
"💀 " "None Can Hurt Me" UHHMSOFJFO i sure hope nothing happens to you buddy but
BURN BABY BURN
what the fuck im scared
wait but so i CAN go try to get help? IM SCARED WHAT HAPPENS. uh. uh. uh. FUCK YOU HOOLAY IM DOING IT
wait if i do this will he die. like the the the npc?!?!??!?! GUYSS
AHAHa.. AHgahah.... im. so fucing nervous
im. ohhhh fuck literal chills. im. should i look at what other options i can do to escape or. im so fucking stressed holy shit. logically speaking if jiaoqiu leaves and the ship gets sabotaged or whatever he could die (both him and npc). if he asks him to send a message then the npc will die. guys i hate this what the fuck
I HATE THAT ITS RED TEXT. okay with acheron it was a little startling but we never got like a warning that OUR ACTIONS have CONSEQUENCES. im so fucking scared
me too man. me too. idont want jiaoqiu to die thoguh what if what we choose changes whether or not he dies in canon im
okay ive talked to everyone. and the warning text for everyone is
the skarskiff(?) guy is just an ordinary person the realm keeping person is not prepared for this kind of emergency and that the cloud knight doesnt have backup (has the same choice options as the realm keeping person of borisin are here and introducing ourself)
also that we're being watched. who the fuck
okay the best option would be to cloud knight. but also is it a good idea? no. but. hiusgh. oh my god i hate this.
IM GOING TO BITE THE BULLET. i dont trust that this will end well for me but the logical option even if i get fucked later is to alert someone. a cloud knight knows what risks and responsibilities they're taking on by becoming one and if they die well fuck man but i REFUSE to just not do anything because that'd be like. playing into hoolays hands which 1. i hate him. 2. as a person who very much values my independence I NEED OUT OF THIS SITUATION
and maybe its what hoolay wants, for us to fail his 'test' but whatever. IM REBELLIOUS. (and probably really dumb)
cant wait to see how this affects story in the future. and also seeing how different choices affect things when i watch other people do this. haha. but predicting that they might not talk to anyone out of fear IM going to talk to someone
uhh im going to introduce myself first. its like how you're meant to share your address first in emergencies or something i think maybe? because if the call cuts out then they can find you quickly (i think your phone can be tracked but it takes awhile its not that easy i think?)
okay i did it. wheres the guy who was watching me i cant remember where he was. is he gone? did he disappear? i acnt tell im so fuckings tressed
nothing happened but. but the cloud knights gone now (presumably to spread the news)
i. do i tell other people ? do i. im. okay im
i only talked to the cloud knight. and then im going to do what hoolay asked. thats it. im not brave or reckless enough to tell eVEryone
HIS VOICE IS TREMBLING for the 100th time i hate this
GUH
I FORGOT THEY HAVE OFFICIAL IDENTITIES PRETENDING TO BE--
oh fuck MY DUMBASS
his voice... AGHH JIAOQIUUU
GO FUCK YOURSELF YOURE NOT THE BOSS OF ME
i knew it. i fucking knew it. IM JUSTIFYING IT TO MYSELF BECAUSE CLOUD KNIGHT YOU BECOME IT KNOWING YOU COULD DIE OKAY. id rather have tried to escape then not at all and prove his racist belief 'right'. okay i know im probably in the wrong because they couldve lived if i didnt do anything and i had a hunch that they wouldve died if i asked for help. but. okay at my core i am selfish. and for all i knew there was a teeny tiny chance that it couldve succeeded
and listen. im quoting twisted wonderland now.
"Zero is zero no matter what you multiply it by, right? But if you take some form of action, that zero could potentially become 0.001. And 0.001 has a chance of becoming 100. In which case, there's no reason NOT to do it." (Book 6 - Chapter 48 • A Sequel Cut Short)
i hate these kinds of mind games.
hoolay fucking yapping and i know we're in a tough situation meant to demonstrate how jiaoqiu's kind of powerless but hoolays just talking about how jiaoqiu will eventually crumble and im just. yeah okay big talk. and like i get that hoolay does have connections still and ppl pretending to be foxians keeping a close eye on everything and genuinely wont hesitate to kill someone but okay i just hate him
god he sounds like one of those people who are like. when you refuse their advances and they go 'oh so youre playing hard to get huh?' and keep going with the belief that we definitely want them or some shit💀
i should pretend. but no i cant. thats not the kind of person i am.
oh shit. yeah okay remind me that maybe this could potentially lead to jiaoqiu dying in canon. i mean. its happened in npc stories before right? like that one person in penacony who we could choose to stop her from falling or let her fall
but fucking OW. hoolay talking doesnt terrify me. and maybe thats why im choosing all the dumb options. but ow.
does he have this pose if we pretend to show weakness? i mean maybe its cause we got hurt and hes exaggerating it and showing weakness then. or maybe it actually hurts like a bitch and he cant help but show reaction.
OMG MOZE
okay actually other idea of jiaoqius plan. contacting someone for help and deliberately being caught so its not suspicious if we go along with his demands too easily (but having another plan to get help thats more secret)
like okay i know it was my choice to try to get help and fucking it up but still canon-like right. although i doubt he'd be okay sacrificing an innocent life so um oops
AHHH FUCKING LITERAL CHILLS. we got jiaoqiu flashback where he was like a healer on the battlefield. i dont think im saying that right i forgot what theyre called. but like remember feixiao mentioning in 2.4 how jiaoqiu healed her, and later became her like main healer or something something i forget the wording
and then it goes black and we hear hoolays voice. i have a little hunch that it might be the thing to stop the lupitoxin's effects starting to fade, nad thus the toxin starting to affect him
hh his voice... :(
yeah okay so let us go
sorry did he just bite someone and they turned into a borisin or did it just get rid of the guys disguise
i wasnt paying attention to who it was. i know it wasnt mok tok (different appearance, also it showed jiaoqiu turning away to not see it and mok tok standing there while that was happening)
its genuinely so confusing trying to tell who is a foxian and whose a borisin cause disguises but i assume its an actual borisin who was disguised...
hes talking to moze but all i can hear is monke from ben's stream (aka moze's EN VA LMFAO)
OH IT WAS A NORMAL FOXIAN
what if he does it on jiaoqiu but then they figure out how to turn jiaoqiu back to normal and learn how to cure feixiao. right? right??? probably not but im so stressed
HOLY SHIT JIAOQIU. he sounds so.. wrung out. exhausted.
acting is fucking 10/10 he sounds kind of unhinged but in the slow still exhausted but with emphasis on some of the words?? like. like he still has fight in him. i dont know how to explain this but its really cool
oh shit does he die now
hooly fucking shit literal chills the text appearing on the black screen actually like communicating in a way to us and helping us get an idea of whats going on
okay major manga spoilers for demon slayer. but here is my next prediction: he has poison in his blood that will affect the borisins if they drink it, like how shinobu kocho had like a shit ton of wisteria in her blood (it was also under her fingernails and shit like that, she put it EVERYWHERE) so that when douma (who killed her sister) ate her he'd be poisoned and severely weakened
AM I RIGHT??
I. FUCKING. KNEW ITTTTTT
okay well it was pretty obvious because right before it mentioned the green peppers(?) thing and how to get a picky child to eat it, it re-mentioned that conversation. and then changed it how to get a wolf to something something i already forgot so it was obvious
but JIAOQIU LETS GOOOO i really hope you didnt die
no wait but shit
okay so i cant share any more images i hit the limit on tumblr but okay so if he consumed poison (ist tumbledust. i already forgor. was it like the thing thats like a sedative thats good in small quantities but lethal in large quantities? or was that like yabruh or something)
does that mean he'll die anyway or
i dont think jiaoqiu said it in front of hoolay but anyway im so unhappy that cutscenes lag for me (hoolay immediately clocks on that it was probably jiaoqiu who poisoned him but sdhfuf. this MEANS that hoolay drank JIAOQIUS BLOOD?!?!?!?!? is he DEAD??? )
also i HATE the hoolay fight im struggling so bad ahuisdhdisuad
YANQING LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO (boutta trigger hoolays jingliu trauma)
im sorry for accusing you of being a disguised borisin, sparkle traumatized me ok (and im sorry for pinching your cheeks in 2.4 being cautious of if you were a fake but also i didnt know that was what that option meant)
you were just acting really weird so i got stressed but LETS GOOOO
WHAT WE'RE FIGHTING HIM AGAIN????? YOURE FUCKING WITH ME
oh shit feixiao boss fight
heyy her character. trailer?? i think thats what it was called teased this. like cause she got drunk and couldnt recognize jing yuan and fought him (briefly)
YANQING FUCKING POPPED OFF THIS STORY
i (think) all thats left is feixiao boss fight that we saw in the livestream
some stuff. ill do wardance later. but im gonna end this post here. havent gotten to the end but i dont think ill have anything else to share and i dont have space here anyway so brr
OH FINALLY I CAN ACCESS DIFFICULTY MODES
AND YOU CAN CHOOSE THEM WHILE IN STORY OH THANK FUCK casual mode my precious
okay we figfhting preceptor oh
dan heng: the oath of the alliance doesnt matter to me because im not a part of the alliance anymore *attacks*
me using imbitior lunae dan heng in battle: uh. uh. uh. uhm. YEP
anyway jiaoqius alive (he almost died though)
he sounds so more subdued :(
HOLY SHIT HES BLIND? OH MY GOD thats both better and worse than i thought
OH MY GOD TINGYUN
i was so confused on ruan mei appearance but OH MY GOD
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unfiltered first reactions to gpi as if i were livetweeting because i think it would be funny (spoilers below!!):
are these 12 year olds or do they just talk like that.
can i touch it, dawg WHAT
dont even know their names but i already love em and only want happiness for them (may be because they strike me as children) (update they were children)
why did bro bite his hand
WHERES THE OTHER BED GOING. NO. HOSPITAL?? NO!! NOT AGAIN :SOB:
i need subtitles oh my god,,,ADULTS NOW!! i see. doug. theyre in suits and he has a bandage yall boutta kiss rn?? OHHH FUCK ohhh oh man. boutta be so fucking sick over doug aw shit
"his name is assface!" oh babe.
"you know." oh BABE. oh fuck.
think about what all the time???????????????? THINK ABOUT WHAT??????????
this is so 'are they lovers' 'worse' and nothings even happened but so much has happened.
ooooh five years
corey. THEY KISSED(before)!!! FUCK!!! MISSING TOOTH!!!
this hurts ohmy god. screaming. theyre gone.
two beds again?? are we flitting between times. 13 ahh yes we are oh i love this so much. what if i hit corey with the autism beam. what then. doug is so me im gonna lose my mind. like when theyre kids. auughh
DO YOU WANNA PRACTICE KISSING?/ SAWG???god thats the gayest shit ever. everyone who says that never means it casually change my goddamn mind YOU CANT/lh doug fucking w first kiss logic is hilarious yes king.
oh my god hes throwing up. DOUG NOO AHAHAH. fellas is it gay to throw up in the same can after kissing.
augh one bed again OUGH HOSPRIALo ohh no. 28. dont do this to me. not after falsettos.
hey again! hes not responding. kms. NOO IS HE IN A COMA OH FUCK
"im trying not to swear so much" giggled
"her"?? dawg no way THEY HAVENT SEEN EACHOTHER SINCE HIS EYE??? oh fuck me man. babe stop saying rtrded please. hes moisturizing his fucking hand oh. MY GOD.
you cant marry her cuz what about me?? SAY YOU LOVE HIM ALREADY FUCK
OOO TWO BEDS. THEYRE CLOSER!!!! ONE BLANKET!! OOOOO!!
18 fuckin called it. 10 yrs ago. thin mints slap hes so real for that. the knocking on his cup shouldnt have tbeen that funny. giggled. okay theyre so besties but like this is so gay. bestie behavior but. they love eachother. (doug is mad about not knowing that corey's been having sex, which like id be upset if my bestie didnt tell me too i get it but correct me if im wrong, this feels insanely jealous
"cuz youre too youung!" YOURE FUCKING EIGHTEEN???
im so sick over doug HES SO ME FUCK ok fuck.
im so. insane. fuck. "whys everyone gotta be so mean?"
"youre not a faggot. youre not" ohhh ow. oh oh my god
okau so when he says :you have blood on your jeans. when did you start [that]: i cant make out what he says or what theyre talking about im assuming its sh??? if so?? fucking ow kill me??????
timing of me watching this. fucking wild. did not want to cry tn (im not but were dangerously close to it)
I CAN NOT FUCKING DO THIS OH GOD
milo when i get you. milo when i fucking. get you./lh
"youre the best thing thats ever happened to me" after THAT?? FUCK ME MAN WHAT THE HELL
he better be fucking awake or i swear to god.
33 OH FUCK MANHES HAWAKE HES AWAKE OH FUCK OH THANK GOD. FIVE YEARS AGO/?? COREY VISTED HIM FIVE YEARS AGO. is he in a mental hospital?? oh boy. these boys are fucked up.
theyre fucking soulmates. i will NOT be taking criticism. WHY ARE YOU LYING YOU BEGGED HIM TO WAKE UP ASSHOLE. doug makes me want to hold my own heart in my hands and feel it beat. dawg why u lying.why is corey mean to him :(
ohh parallels. oh they. hurt. differenty. but the same. ohhhh my god
"because i might not make it back"
if one of them fucking dies. i stg. 23 10 yrs back. wait this is the first bit again/? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR TOOTH. DUDE. OH FUCK.
criyng at dougs speech after the kiss.
oh fuck OFF. only the poster wtf
i need the playlist they got. 38,,,
i went "hes fucking dead isnt he" and he rolls in. "im gonnakms"
"dont touch me corey" sobbing.
pleading with my screen for it not to end like that and its over.
milo. oh my fucking god
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JUST FINISHED LISTENING TO THE NEW CRANE WIVES ALBUM. HOOOOOOLY SHIT. THAT WAS INCREDIBLE. time to ramble about each song because i can <3 lalalalala
(under a cut cause this got a little long)
Scars: Listened to this one the second it was officially released, so i've had some time to listen to it !!!and . ough. its so good. i love when the crane wives make angry songs <3 really REALLY happy that they've incorporated violin into their newer songs too. the subtle shriek halfway through, the buildup near the end....GRAH (and i know they did on past albums but tbh they did not include them Enough. i love the violin <3)
Bitter Medicine: another one that was released ahead of the full album! also very good. reminds me a lot of the queen of nothing, mainly because of "someone take my keys im in no shape for driving" vs "stop the car, i wanna get out". and the AH AH OH AH OH'S NEAR THE END. YES !!! THEYRE SO FUN TO SING ALONG WITH I LOVE THEM. and the instrumentals. GRAAAAAH !!! the electric guitar (?) at the end is AMAZING.
Higher Ground: right off the bat i loved the instruments. and then when they start singing? INCREDIBLE. the vocals for this one are so so so good. like im actually in love with them, especially the first "should i head for higher ground". and its also like. very upbeat and fun. it makes me want to run around and just get myself Moving somehow. AND THE SUBTLE STRINGS IN THE BACKGROUND AS THE SONG BUILDS UP!!! i love the plucking, it so. hrgahgrhahghr. and once again. THE VIOLIN. I LOVE THE VIOLIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Predator: i came into this song expecting something similar to the hand that feeds, so it was MUCH different than i anticipated! and honestly, i love it so much?? the guitar...? whatever funky instrument thats all wobbly is. sounds so fun. and i love the vocals so much they scratch at my brain. THE CLAPPING TOO. ITS SO FUN. another one that makes me want to get up and run around or dance <3
Say It: i was excited for this one! my friend heard it live and absolutely loved it, so i'd heard a lot about it going in. its a lot calmer than i was expecting but ohhh its so good. "please dont leave me in the dark, praying for a wayward spark" augh. ough. gruahgrh. "IF YOU COULD WOULD YOU ERASE ME. ERADICATE ME FROM YOUR MIND." RAAAAAAHHHH.
Mad Dog: another song i heard good things about! i was expecting something high energy and BOY did it not disappoint. obsessed with the pace of the beginning vocals, they sound like so much fun to sing i cant wait to learn the lyrics. AND THEN. THE CHORUS!!! OHHHH. THE ECHOES OF RUNNING AND COMING. IM GONNA EXPLODE. THEY SCRATCH MY BRAIN SO WELL. and the funky instrument in the back that i think is maybe a guitar but i cant tell....its so good and funky and oh my god i love the crane wives. honestly, this is probably one of my favorites of the album. its so good. i need to tear something apart with my teeth
Arcturus Beaming: i heard this song live back when i went to their concert in april, and oh my GOD. genuinely this song changed me i think. it rearranged my atoms. it means so much to me i literally love this song, even if the instrumentals arent my favorite out of the rest of the album i cannot put it any lower than my absolute favorite. THERES MORE TO LIFE THAN SUFFERING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Time Will Change You: and this song. right off the bat its INCREDIBLE. the steady beat in the back. the guitar. the vocals. and just . the general Vibes. AND THEN. AND THEN !!!! THE STRINGS. HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE STRINGSSS. THE SECOND I HEARD THEM I LOST MY MIND. they are SO pretty and THIS is exactly why i wanted the crane wives to use strings in their songs more. they include them SO well. AND AUGH. THE INSTRUMENTAL HALFWAY THROUGH....AND THE VOCALS BEHIND IT....AND AGAIN!!! THE STRINGS !!!! this is SUCH a pretty song and it blew me away the first time i listened to it
Black Hole Fantasy: i wasnt entirely sure what to expect going into this song so i was a bit surprised by the introduction- and then it just kept getting better. right off the bat it reminded me of arcturus beaming, and then the general story of the song.... just. the feeling of aching so desperately for a better life, but being afraid to take that first step because you dont want to face the risks that come with it..... i genuinely almost cried listening to it, especially as the song began to ramp up. the fantasy of taking that chance but still being afraid. AND THEN. AND THEN!!!!! "AND NOW SHES LAUGHING, AND ITS KILLING ME THAT I CANNOT SEE WHATS MAKING HER LAUGH FROM WHERE IM STANDING." AND THE SUBTLE BUILD UP OF STRINGS IN THE BACK AS THE SONG RAMPS UP FURTHER. AND YOU FINALLY TAKE THAT CHANCE, TAKE THAT FIRST STEP. AAUEUEUAGHHHH. GOD!!!!!!!!!!
Red Clay: going into this song, i was expecting something with the vibes of the icarus or keep you safe, and i wasnt disappointed!!! BUT BEFORE I COULD REALLY PROCESS THE BEGINNING, I GET COMPLETELY BLIND SIDED BY SOMEONE OTHER THAN EMILEE OR KATE SINGING. im not entirely sure who it is, my best guess is dan, but its so so good. something about red clay is so specifically nostalgic for me, and for it to play right after black hole fantasy just. completely destroyed me/pos this song is so so pretty. i love it so much.
River Rushing: AND IMMEDIATELY IM HOOKED. again, i expected something high energy/upbeat like sleeping giants- and while its not the exact same, its similar, and i LOVE IT. the vocals are probably my favorite part, especially the backing vocals. BUT OH MY GOD THOSE HIGH NOTES. THEYRE SO GOOD. a VERY strong ending for the album, which i absolutely adored
and thats every song!!!! god i love the crane wives. im going to listen to this album on loop until each song is burned into my brain okay bye
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Boueibu Rewatch
Thursday's for the Boys! 4
Season 1 - Episodes 10-12
Episode 10
MEGAWA!!! my favorite side character!!!! I was still deep in love with Free! when this came out so Nagisa's VA showing up was super exciting
i have always been fascinated by the heat pack(?) HANGER that Gora has...is that a jp thing?
tbh...i like megane yumoto more than normal yumoto ^^;
kinchan doesnt give a f abt yumoto's good manners
atsu are u saying a cold is a gateway drug to mental illness...?
The Door!!! Ohhhh how many smut fics ive started writing over the years have hinged (no pun intended) upon that door being there
AKU MADE KOUHAI TOSHITE!!
unrelated to the episode but when this was airing i was taking an 8am class and an asynch-online class and id come home on tuesday after my 8am and Forbid myself from watching the new ep until i was done with my online class homework. i think it posted on CR at 10 or 11am PST? mannnn, community college schedule, i miss you T_T
ok was the blast from ryuu's love stick Very penis shaped or am i just dirty minded :O
megawaXentirebaseballteam fic when
"we were all waiting for you bc we cant say some bullshit about love ourselves" or smthn
Episode 11
i REALLY dont remember this ep
is this the only time wombat calls them 'missionaries of love'? that deffo has a different connotation...
Ryuu youre so wrong thai curry is the best
kinchan's trauma is curry-scented
actually insane what this whole plot ended up being about
BAKA PAWA
glad yumoto supports gora's kink exploration
deffo the biggest stretch for a transformation all season
wow its so funny that student just know there's weird magical boys with blurry faces around
KINCHAAAAAAN DARK AURITE!!!!!!! ICONICCCCC
such a choice for them to find out who the other team is at the Very End
io has his priorities
god i love how petty this whole thing is
aaaaa them referencing back Atsu and En's fight!!!
gora's brocon senses tingling
man i just love the evil student council trope
Episode 12
FINALEEE
there really is an element of Surveillance and Privacy that couldnt easily been touched on more here, Kinchan's reaction skims the surface of it, but it could be So Much More (the theme of my feelings about this show in general)
my question is...is Boueibu the real show, the same show all the aliens watched?
NANDATTE
WOW i completely forgot Gora was a monster
kabuki rule is deffo my favorite 4th wall break here haha
akorima together here was So Important to me
Akoya PUNCHHHHH!!
oh he says akoya here too :D
that tiny akorima conversation fed me for MONTHS
THIS KINATSU MOMENT!!!!
moa betta rabu meikingu was such a choice
my thesis is that LOVE is scifi and HK is fantasy
aaaaaaa i have watch just thiw kinchqn moment more than anything else in this ep lol
did they imply hireashi banged his supervisor?
my gf is watching with me and she says hireashi belongs on adult swim lmao
hhhrhrrr akoya with his hair up is so cuuute
____
that was season 1!!! this show genuinely changed my life, i owe it so much happiness and joy throughout all these years <3
(Fair warning to all who are reading this - season 2 is my least favorite by far so i am gonna probably be more critical of it than s1 or s3. if you love s2 and dont wanna read me bitching about it, i get it! no need to read it lol lets just say i am looking forward to when we get to HK :P but im sure thats not a surprise)
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!DNDADS S2 EP39 SPOILERS!
the time has come. i have felt physically ill anticipating this episode. LETS GO!
- i would first like to inform everyone that i am wearing a black and purple scary inspired outfit and a bracelet that says "doodler" on it as i listen to this episode
- WILLY INTRO. GOD
- class changes would be kinda cool i will admit
- taylors doing music stuff now ooo living up to his namesake. well he def cant make music under his real name lol
- THE HESITANCE ON "WILSON". MATT WHY.
- every fact i hear about grant and marcos parenting makes me die a little more each time
- STRICTLY SHOES ON??? IN THE OAK SWALLOWS GARCIA HOUSE?? oh no wonder that familys so fucked up.
- so what im hearing. is that normal is just wearing heelys at all times
- ITS STARTING. THE DOODLER. THE DOODLERS COMING. IM NOT READY
- ANTHONY THAT IS NOT WHAT THE GRIMACE SHAKE MEME IS IM CRYING
- IM HERE ANTICIPATING THE DOODLER READY TO EXPLODE AND THESE FUCKERS ARE SITTING HERE TALKING ABOUT MCDONALDS CUM 😭
- STOP JOKING ABOUT THE SEASON BEING OVER I DONT WANT IT TO END ANYTIME SOON
- WILLY SAYING "I LOVE YOU" IS THE MOST DISGUSTING SHIT GET THAT AWAYYY
- "hey willy nobodys gonna listen to u anymore" HELLLL YEAH GET HIM SCARY
- NONE OF THEM KNOW WHAT TO DO NOOO
- i love scary too doodler.
- THE DOODLER SAYING "FUCK U WILLY" YIPPEEE
- NORMAL W A BROADWAY PERFORMANCE OKAY learning from hermie i see
- i also dont like it when normal gets hurt lmao
- the doodler is the realest character on the podcast /hj
- SCARYS GONNA ATTACK WILLY!!!!!
- nooo it didnt work... that wouldve been so satisfying
- WILLYS PANTS ARE STILL DOWN I CANT BELIEVE THIS
- THE FACT THAT WILL IS SO LOST ON WHAT TO DO SCARES ME
- NOOOO THE DOODLERS GETTING UPSET FUCK. THE FUCKING ZONE OF TRUTH
- i totally forgot the kiddads were there oops
- OH NOOO WILLYS CALLING FOR HELP
- im so sorry but. when am i gonna hear hermie LMAOO
- OKAY THERE THEY ARE YIPPEE
- OH WOW YEAH HERMIE IS IN THE ZONE OF TRUTH HUH. just like i said i wanted lol. forgot about that
- HERMIE W THE BEST FUCKING ROLL OF THE EPISODE SO FAR LMAO
- NOOOO WILLY HAS CONTROL OVER THE DOODLER NOW
- WILL DECIDING THAT INSTEAD OF NORMAL GIVING A HEARTFELT SPEECH TO THE DOODLER HE JUST VIOLENTLY ATTACKS WILLY. THIS IS DEFINITELY SOME CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
- MATT JUST TOTALLY FUCKED ANTHONY OVER WOW
- WILLY IS NO LONGER SCARYS PATRON. I REPEAT. WILLY IS NO LONGER SCARYS FUCKING PATRON
- OH MY GOD WERE GONNA GET THE DOODLER IN A NEW PHYSICAL FORM. OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING
- this is very upsetting good lord
- OHHHH MY GOD I REALLY HOPE THIS IS SOMETHING COOL IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS
- my heart is POUNDING.
- THE SKY IS BLUE AGAIN
- WHOOOOA THEY ALL SEE THE DOODLER AS THEIR OWN INSECURITIES THATS SICK
- LARK DONT U FUCKING DARE
- THE DOODLER IS A SPIDERBOI NOW!!!!
- awww the doodler and the catbus
- NOT ANOTHER COLLAR
- "oh u kind man u" IM SCREAMING
- ANTHONY JUST CALLED LARK NORMALS DAD
- WILL HAVING HIS CHARACTER TALK TO LARK ABOUT HENRY WHAT IF I DIED.
- "dont make me hate u as much as u hate him" OH. MY FUCKING GOD OW
- "oh sparrows also there" I. ANTHONY
- INFINITY WAR BUT ITS GRIMACE INSTEAD OF THANOS IM CRYING
- WILLYS JUST GIVING UP???
- SO IS THE DOODLER JUST GONNA BE A PART OF THEIR PARTY AS THEIR BUDDY. THIS IS SO EXCITING
- THEIR NAME IS DUDE NOW?? OMG
- NEW CHARACTER LETS GOOOO
- MATTS CHARACTER SHAKING HANDS W THE DOODLER. ITS ALL COMING FULL CIRCLE WOWIE
- RON???!?!!?!!
- FUCKIFN RON STAMPLER????
- HES DEAD. RON STAMPLER IS OFFICIALLY DEAD.
- OH IM GONNA CRY THIS IS SO
- WOW. THAT EPISODE WAS SHORT BUT WOW
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can i say something. smthn mentally ill :) thanks. i dont know how to do a readmore on mobile sry :3
i spend a lot of time going back and forth on chest dysphoria and what uhh. Options. i would like to take or not take abt that. and in the end i always decide well this is my body and it is what it is and mental illness is tough but it happens and i know how to deal w it and i will always have ups and downs but my body is my body and i shouldnt hurt it just for existing. weirdest thing abt it is i spend so much time hating it but it never says a bad word about me, it's not perfect but it's mine, etc. and then as SOON as i go to a concert its like. no literally my life would be so much easier and im so so tired i just dont want to wear bras i dont want to wear binders i want to move and breathe freely i don't want things to move i don't want to worry about whats exposed u cant wear smthn loose enough to not constrict at all while still keeping things in place which by definition requires constriction. i wanna just BE. nd sometimes i think i am just wasting years that i could b spending feeling. free. choosing to NOT do that because ???. because why? can't remember. but i d. i don. i ddont wanna kill time like it doesnt matter. do u understand. i dont wanna kill time like it doesnt matter!! waited long enough to be this way!!! [s]he cant change for love [s]he explains how long [s]hes waited for [s]he wanted more. or whatever. u know. ps im also scared/resentful of going the gender clinic again cause they were fucking evil to me last time and theyre kinda evil in general and ohhhh i dont want 2 be involved with u people i do NOT want 2 be associated with. anything. but by god. i want 2 feel free. whys everything so stupid and weird whys everything such a big deal. i love 2 b dramatic about shit that does not even matter to most ppl i love to have a 7-year crisis just for the hell of it <3 someone just fucking knock me out and give me surgery dont even bother waiting for me to give the ok just do it im tired im tired im tired i feel like im always fighting but i dont even know what im fighting or why. sorry <3 i have 2 get this shit out sometimes <3 there are poisons in my brain i think. and i would never punish anyone to live like this it is your choice alone i would never punish anyone to live like this it is your choice alone i would never punish anyone to live like this it is your choice alone. whatever. 🫠
#sorry i really would put this under a readmore this is a lot. this is too much.#but i dont have ppl irl to talk abt this with and if i dont let it out ill die. where my online dysphoric girlies at <3#i tthink. i think i need to write a shitty little song. when i can finally get a FUCKING MOMENT alone 🫠
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I am here with the mans theories for s5! He did say during his presentation that it is a work in progress and it will for sure keep changing because the LA offer fucked everything up for him. Btw in case you were wondering, he ambushed me in the early morning right as I woke up. He was waiting by my door so when i opened it all i saw was him smiling at me, i swear he us losing his mind. Anyway the theories are (in no particular order): -‘IF Justin goes to LA, Brian goes with him. Or we get like a week time jump and they leave for LA together’ -‘Better yet, Justin doesn’t leave at all because i get its a big deal for his future BUT I personally hate it and my feelings matter more so…’ - ‘I don’t trust that Connor actor. What if he’s gonna be like Ethan or something? I will fucking die’ - ‘Brian will now for SURE say I love you. I’m thinking Blondie drops the la news and maybe Brian realizes how big his love is and how stupid he is so he tells him. Like maybe chases him in the airport or goes after him to LA cause thats less cringey and I know Bri would rather cut his leg off than chase someone through an airport’ - ‘So basically they move in together and Brian confesses his love for him and they live happily ever after’ - ‘ohhhh Brian is his date to the Rage premiere! That’s gonna be fun! I know he’s gonna be so proud of his sunshine’ - ‘i still want Jen and Brian being best friends episode! Like when they looked for his office but more. Also where the fuck is my girl Daphne? Imagine Daph and Bri talking shit about LA’ -‘you know what? Throw in Hunter as well. Give me uncle/nephew episode again’ - ‘okay so Brian asked him to move in. I WANT THEM DECORATING SHIT! or furniture shopping or some domestic shit like that. Or Brian comes home to bunch of art stuff everywhere! But he doesn’t get mad because he’s a big boy in love now’ - ‘i cant decide how he will tell him that he loves him. Maybe at a dinner or maybe at a diner, Blondie does something dumb and he says it while laughing or something OR what if when they’re having sex Bri goes “you know I love you, right?” Something cute like that and Blondie will be all excited like ‘oh took you long enough also likewise’’ - ‘i cant decide on the big finale. I love you cant be it since there’s others in the show too unfortunately so i guess they matter too. But it has to be something big and nice and sweet, to wrap it all up nicely with a bow, ya know? OHHH KINDA LIKE SEASON 3 FINALE! With all of them cute and happy and in love and carefree and living their best lives together and Brian and Justin are finally together happy since Bri is now a big boy in love not scared to admit it’ - ‘also what is going on with the cancer? Is it gone? Is it still there? He had that whole awakening cause of it so cancer has to still play a big role. I want more of that even tho it hurts me but I think that’s gonna really make Brian even more different in a good way.’ -‘you know what i want? Brian and Justin all happy and in love with Gus! And they bump into Brians mom HA! Show her how great he’s doing’ I’m not gonna lie, my heart kind of broke for him when he was reading me his list for what he thinks about s5. Because he was so excited when he talked about the happy ending. I’m talking big smiles and giving examples about how the ep could end with a camera looking through different windows and it’s Britin and Gus together or maybe theyre celebrating Christmas or a birthday and everyone is together all happy and Britin is kissing and it ends with Brian saying i love you to Justin. AND IT ACTUALLY PHYSICALLY HURT ME HEARING THAT AND KNOWING THE HORRIBLE TRUTH! i feel like a mother now wanting to protect her baby from the bad world. What have I done? He is going to be heartbroken the second he puts on s5.
Oh my god. Dear sweet anon, I am worried for your brother's well-being. He is making QAF into some christmas movie rom com where there's going to be a happy montage at the end and... well that's not how this is going to go. I don't know whether we warn him or whether that's unfair because none of us were warned. (No kidding, once a year my facebook memories remind me that I was VERY EXCITED to watch QAF S5.)
This is going to be a complete and utter emotional breakdown, I fear. Just remind him that it is accepted as canon (from CowLip) that the ending never meant to imply that Brian and Justin are broken up.
And that it is a good thing to care so much about something that it Makes You Feel Things. Even if those feelings at the time are Very Unpleasant. And that those Very Unpleasant Feelings build community in fandom. But, yeah, art that makes you feel... that's the whole point, isn't it? I honestly don't know that we would still have a qaf fandom to this day if the ending had been unambiguously happy.
#ask winderlylandchime#dear sweet anon#queer as folk#a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023
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or something
its all so fucking empty man its all so fucking empty i dont know whyits so much easier for everyone not to even do things but just be a fucking person man i donteven care i feel like im just forcing it down my own throat half the time im just nto here any more i havent been here for years its never going to matter or mean anything i dont know i wish i could even be dramatic and be like ohhhh everyone leave me behindddd but wouldnt that imply that there was anything to begin with god idont know i dont know i jsut get angry and fucking upset over everything theres nothing that helps nothing that ever fucking helps its non stop its just that that that until you roll over and force yourself to shut up or die and either way it doesnt matter it never fixes anything part of just wishes i could feel it matter foronce i dont need it fixed i dont need it to be better ijsut want one thing to feel likeits meant something even a fucking little bit i think every day about that i wish i killed myself properly as a kid something something you'll regret it in your last moments i dont think ive spent a single fucking day where ive went to bed at night and thoguht that meant something i dont think a single day of my life has been anything to anyone but made me upset and miserable something something ive just been on this stupidfucking cycle for years and years and years. it has never not once been fucking worth it for a second living past that. i should have fucking died when i was 16 and sad. fuck every single fucking thing ive done since then and i mean that. something something loop and loop and loop you .want to kill yourself so badly and feel so overcome with loneliness and cry more because you cant make anything right start to fade out lose months let them go by until it breaks down again and back to that and theres no change its just back and forth ive not gotten anywhere ive circled in my fucking cage endlessly and i wish it mattered i wish a day fucking mattered i wish it could have meant something once just once i dont talk to anyone i just fucking sit and cry and its been so long and
i cant do it right i feel liek im insane sometimes because everyone talks about struggling it makes me want to fucking claw my eyeballs out the next fucking cutn to share their struggles with me . because yeah fucking sucks i wont say it doesnt suck nonetheless i feel like such a rancid fucking cunt for i. ecause god i want to fucking really hurt people sometimes. oh im sad so youre telling me oh youre alone youre fucking alone too. how the fuck does that make me feel when your parents love you you talk to people people would notice if you disappeared you have a partner or have had partners that love you. theres someone i cant manage anything i cant do it any more i never fucking managed it because its not just the now its not just oh it sucks now its just been a structural. its been everything its never not been fucking like this i keep tryng i feel like im just a freak and sometimes i wish there was something fucking wrong with me for real its jsut theres nothing in there worth sticking around for or loving and i know thats what it is deep down but i cant even simulate it properly i cant fucking muster anything i cant fake interests in things i cant fucking do it im too fuckig tired i dont wantto wake up any more i dont want it to get better because it fucking wont im fucking sick of ti im just waiting for it ot end and i just feel like everyonekeeps telling me it'll get there but its nothing but an excuse to get me to fucking shut up because it doenst matter its a fucking sit there and fucvking rot you fucking worthless bitch i wish theyd just be honest with me sometimes i wish anyone would just be fucking honest i wish people would have me around even if they dontlike me i dont care what happens any more i cant do it i keep trying i cant do it its just every fucking time i dont know i dont have it in me i dont have anything in me and it doesnt matter i wish it mattered ive tried and i just dont know what im doing wrong and im just always some bitter jaded assholeand i know its making it worse but i cant . fucking do it any more . i feel like im being insane or whatever oh you mustnttttttt ive been having insane thoughts about other shit again i feel so removed from everything and redacted or redacted how i cant do it cuz of work, thinking about taking a month out just so i can repeatedly redacted without anyone fucking getting in my business but who cares i think i should quit and well what then i dont know i need somehting to fucking stop theres nowjhere to go theres nothing to do DOES ANYONE FEEEL. CRAZY i feel like i get further every day and i was already so fucking removed i struggled so badly but the more and the more time i spendthe worse it fucking gets i cant fucking level with anyone any more and i cant get back by myself im not fucking enough to do it i dont man i think does anyone feel MENTAL
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i haven't been using tumplr as much so i haven't seen which ones u may have already answered but 3 5 10 12 and 21 for the rejuv asks >:^)
answered 5 and 12 in a previous post, they're under my posts tag!
renegade spoilers under the cut and this is gonna be a long one
3. favorite moment?
the karma beast battle in renegade OHHH MY GOD. holy fucking raw. all that spoiler dodging paid off because ohhhh my god guys. axiom waltz and the music transition like HELLO? they knocked this moment out of the damn parkkkk when i tell you how hard my heart sank into my ass. like i was staring at my computer mortified for a good four minutes at the battle start screen. that's what makes it so memorable to me because it's such a good staple moment of renegade i feel. for me it was easy to not take renegade too seriously when it was just pressing an evil button and dealing with m2's antics at first but seeing a guy get rifted into a horrible dying and melting poison bird monstrosity by karma just to try and stop you was such an "Oh this game isn't fucking around" moment for me. and this is in CHAPTER 0 of renegade. like that was just the beginning this oblivion shit gets SERIOUS. if the devs keep this up im probably going to be an alcoholic by the time the game is finished. im so excited
10. favorite villain/antagonist(s)?
dont even joke lad
clear + kieran (+ eden) its not even a competition. my favorite characters in the entire game unfortunately. in fact they were even my favorites before i actually played the game just from what i heard of them from my friends💀. i heard badass evil androids from another universe and i was TUNED the fuck IN. i think its because i like sci-fi too much. i love love love all three of them but clear is ever so slightly my #1 ONLY because she uses a bunch of my favorite pokemon. orbeetle, klinklang, porygon-z, and you tell beheeyemlover56 that a character's ace pokemon is a beheeyem and i will be there No Matter What
theyre just SOOO SO INTERESTING and cool and everything about them is awesome. even all of the atrocities because they looked awesome while doing it. i love the character dynamic between clear and kieran and i love their stupid ass catchphrases that they cling onto like their lives depend on it and i love the insane lore deal they have going on they occupy my brain 24/7. im sooo excited to see how much more fucked up they'll get in the future. i will support them !
on account of eden being scrap metal and having about 3 dollars and a nickel of revealed lore i can't say much about them but from what we do know oooohhhhh i am SO HYPED to find out more. doubt they'll bring eden back from the grave but i am very intrigued to see just what impact they had on crescent/A-gang/storm 9. they sound particularly terrifying and freaky. i cant wait. oblivion forever🔥
21. favorite chapter?
probably to no one's surprise its chapter 15 lmfao. all three of the routes are SO MUCH FUN and i really enjoy the focus on characters other than just Le Interceptor for a change. i kind of love lore-heavy chapters and all of the reveals in chapter 15 are so crazy and exciting. and no other chapter has platinum route in it. luv u platinum route <3
additionally the v13.5 overhaul to chapter 10 was AMAZING and now thats definitely my second favorite chapter. my jaw dropped when i saw all the new pretty updated areas and sprites
thank you for the ask!
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ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I CANT EVEN BREATHE yo this man crazy af like nah nope I sit here while u change my god damn mind this bitch ain’t it, yoo like smh he so mmmmmmm ROOOOO UR KILLIN ME UR. K I L L I n g meeeee like oh we gotta make it believable what like oh u lucky I save u JIGGA REALLY HAAA OKy so let me get this straight u a super soldier who can do pretty much anything really think 🤔 that if u did not cause a car crash and hurt her like that then FUCK HER which is crazy that it if u think about it it took him this long which is like pooow 💥 in the mind wow that long chapter 11 of 12 . Wow and he then did a crash to cover his tracts got her in hospital like oh u better do what I ask or I’m gonna kill that old bitch of urrr. MOMMY it’s u ohhhh I been here w her poor us kids dogs bbq wedding etc like wow. I’m wow and damn bc he saying all this but if she like no Steve I gotta wait til tomorrow to eat me out oh really knock ding dong dead mom yo I’m w her this took all my tears
Never Too Late 12/End
Warnings: noncon sexual acts, violence, manipulation.
My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Character: Steve Rogers
Summary: You’re turning forty and life seems to be forging ahead on its one way track, that is until you meet Steve Rogers.
Note: Thanks to all who followed from the very beginning. We did it! We made it to the end.
Thank you. Love you guys!
As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3
Series Masterlist
You turned your head to keep the blood from pooling into your throat. You pushed against Steve’s shoulders as he kept you pinned beneath him, legs bent awkwardly as your pants tangled above your knees.
You gurgled and coughed up another glob of blood. You groaned as you shoved against him helplessly.
“Steve, please–” you choked out.
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im so tired y'all
#i swear to fucking god if i see one more post going 'ohhhh im not gonna vote biden cause of my *conscience*' im gonna fucking scream#''conscience'' my left nut#fucking bullshit#like if you actually?? cared??? maybe you wouldnt make it easier for the fascist to stay in power?#amd probably end up revoking so many of the most vulnerable people in our society's rights within the next 4 years?#but i mean you do you i guess yknow#have fun being complacent in letting a fascist hold power because you didnt want to dirty your ''pure'' fucking conscience#god man i cant even vote this year#you cant imagine how frustrating it is to see people who can actually vote throw it away like it's nothing#like their conscience matters more than the health and safety and rights of the minorities in this country#its shit like that makes me feel like im just gonna lay down and wait for death in november#and besides the important things; there really wouldnt be anything to look forward to#like what the next election?#the fact that theres kinda actually a possibility there wont be another (vaguely fair) election should say enough.#and yknow i thought i was actually gonna be fine today but it looks like nothing good happens after midnight huh#like im sorry if this is rude?? but genuinely. if you arent voting biden. get the fuck off my blog and off this planet.#how fucking hard is it to just vote for the person who we know we might actually be able to change things under#but i guess your conscience is more important than actual people#its this shit that got us here way back in 2016.#so how about we learn from our mistakes and dont repeat them.
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Boueibu Rewatch
Thursday's for the Boys! 5
Season 2 - Episodes 1-3
CW: I don't like s2 very much and i talk about it pretty openly. Please don't read if that's a bummer for you.
Episode 1
I forgot how much Shinier s2 is lol
nono yumoto please continue talking about how Gora would give you enemas please i insist
SEITOUKAIII
oh my god Akoya so cute
ok you know how i said s2 is my least favorite? reason number 1 is that they sent the student council away
man kinchan kawaii i cant wait to see how they depict post-evil Ata in the movie *_*
ohhhh yes this kinatsu convo that changed the world T_T theyre so repressed boys just say you like each other
Im with you En
love that this whole moment really proves Kinchan was the most In It with the evil and such
interesting that they even have Akoya wear his towel the feminine way - I remember the writer saying he wanted to make Akoya literally just Look Like A Girl so that must be why
considering I dont even remember the monster from ep 1 really shows how much i liked this season hahahaaa
Shounen GUMP is a good bit lmao
Ok the thing is - s1 is extremely Winter 2015 and HK is extremely Spring 2018, this does not feel Summer 2016, if that makes sense? im sure its just a Me thing but anime that i watch as it comes out tends to Feel like the time I watched it, and this isnt the show i think of when i think summer 2016. (Granted i was watching a lot of anime that season...: 91 Days, Hatsukoi Monster, Servamp, DAYS, Fukigen no Mononokean, Cheer Boys, AND Orange were airing, i always forget that boueibu was also in there?)
oh joy its the twins :,)
I do like the new transformations and costumes - except for when atsushi does a dang trust fall into nothing lmao
this is the least offensive akoya outfit but its still not great haha
goodbye seitoukai youre the main reason i liked boueibu love :,)
love is power is good but its no zettai mutteki fallin love
Episode 2
ok i will try to go into this season with an open mind...i will try
oddly enough i remember this chuunyobi boy but i dont remember the monster he becomes lol, probably bc i was happy to see a fat anime boy that wasnt a joke bc hes fat
he looks like the ultimate imposter from danganronpa lmao
GOD WOW i forgot the twins called their fans Beppu Apes. That just came back to me.
binan high said yeah its fine if they wear different uniforms, theyre the antagonists
WOW PS IS IN THIS??? HOW TF DO I NOT REMEMBER ANYTHING IMPORTANT
atsushi relatable bc he sees himself as an npc
see they make the twins Evil without making them Likeable which makes it so annoying that so much of the plot is about Their Shit when all i wanted was to go deeper into the existing characters. but we really didnt get anything new except for with yumoto. What if all I wanted was character studies on all the main boys T_T, what if i wanted to see what Ryuu actually does when he says hes on a date T_T what if i wanted to see why money means so much to Io T_T or a whole episode about Atsushi and En's friendship outside of school or smthn T_T thats what I wanted
ok the love hotel moment is very good - but why did yumoto not want to be cuddled by everyone...thats like...his whole...thing
i do appreciate the twincest of course...even that couldnt save them lmao
this season feels like a parody of itself, which is saying something bc boueibu is already like 10 layers of parody
OH. yes i do remember this monster.
the best thing to come out of this season Honestly is twinsXgora
Episode 3
oh shit the doctor from the game is in the background! i never noticed!
i suppose the main reason i like boueibu is because of this villains, and when i dont like the villains i dont like the show as much lmao. it just makes so much sense for the student council to be evils?
ok i do remember this ep for them doing the skit
i know that historically nothing happens in boueibu plot, but s2 feels like even more nothing happens. im only 13 minutes in and its felt like an entire episode has passed :,)
they made Io extremely pretty this season lol, those eyelashes
see...its like the other four boys dont even have to be there and nothing would change. i like Atsushi and En specifically very much.. id love for them to be important whatsoever to the plot lmao. i know this is boueibu we're talking about here but. i dunno, i feel like its still a valid critique.
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p+r s7 thread pt 4
#cant believe its only 12 eps still#aug 3 2020#OH DID THEY GET THE BILL DUDE LOLLL#too much change even though ive just been sitting here for two weeks#okay its time for the last episode i cry !!!!!#oh god.#i havent even started and im emo#ahsjfkfkslldksksldlsldk i mean it makes so much sense to end it here becssue theyre leaving aghsjdkfkskdjskks#OHHHH H THATS WHAT THEY MEANT FAST forward#also it mustve hurt to film these it hurts to watch jsjjdjjf#they cleaned it up so well. i hate them for it#in two years they should reunite :)))#??? what is saperstein doing there ???????#oh wait why r they in pawnee#wheres my leslie#the economy tanking 👁👄👁 wormm#im sniffly#u know what i dont get is why ben goes blonde#how did they predict the economic downturn im terrified#like they wrapped it up too well. geez leave some plot holes for the rest of us#she!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#wait HAHAHA#HE DID NIT I LOVE#/$;&;&&;&;8;&;&;&:$;&:&;&;&;;&&:&;&;&;;&;&$;$:&:&:&;&:&:&;&;&;&;;&;&#/&&;$;&;&:&:&(&(&?#okay this is officially the hardest ive cried#ben wyatt what the friCk#my stomach hurts bc ive been clenching to sob all day#i already said it but i literally cant wait to rewatch#ann and leslie are sutton and megan
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